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| Carlie Brucia |
Ten years ago on February 1, an 11-year old girl was abducted, raped, and murdered in Sarasota, Florida while walking home from school. The 10th anniversary of Carlie Brucia's death has raised again the awareness of stranger danger. I have often thought how different this might have turned out if Carlie had gone to
Escape School. But she didn’t. We must remember that as horrible as this is, it is also rare. Thank God it is rare. However, at-risk children are not rare. Each day in the 12th circuit of Florida (Sarasota, Manatee, and Desoto counties), every hour, 24/7, 365 days per year, a report is made of suspicion of abuse and neglect. Most reports cannot be legally substantiated, but all reports are investigated. Most children are under the age of five, the most vulnerable. Approximately 1,300 children are in out-of-home state care, and many more are living with friends and relatives in the 12th circuit at any given moment.
The Real Threat to Kids
It is not strangers who are the biggest threat to children. It is not some vicious predator animal that got loose from the local zoo. It is not an infestation of killer bees from Mexico. It is not falling meteors or space debris reentering the atmosphere. The greatest threats to our children are fathers, mothers, boyfriends, girlfriends, uncles, grandpas, trusted family friends, and neighbors. It is normally someone the child knows. The safest environment for a child should be their own home, church, school, and neighborhood. What makes these environments so toxic and dangerous? There is no guesswork here. The threats are well documented. It is substance abuse, domestic violence, and just plain not paying attention.
Caregivers and trusted adults are increasingly becoming uncaring and untrustworthy. Child abuse and neglect are the outcome of adults whose lives are not being properly managed. The decision to ingest substances like alcohol and drugs impairs judgment and places children at risk. The lack of conflict resolution skills and the lack of impulse control place children at risk. Being too busy with one’s own life and interests to raise the children put children at risk.
Seeing Their Value
I believe there is something even more basic that these risk factors, something less tangible but more powerful, and that is the value one places on a child. If I could speak to a potential abuser and neglecter of kids before they offend, I would ask these questions. How important is your child to you? Is your child important enough to get help for your addiction? Is your child important enough for you to walk away from an argument, and seek help in learning conflict resolution skills? Is your child important enough to you to shut down the cell phone, put up the video game, quit hanging with your friends, and spend time attending to their needs? Selfishness and self-centeredness are the core of the problem of abuse and neglect of kids.
Out of this spring of selfishness and self-centeredness flows the system we call child-welfare, a multi-million dollar industry made up of caring and trustworthy people who try to undo the lack of care and trustworthiness which affects our children. Children enter the world of case-workers, guardians ad litem, attorneys and judges, child protection investigators, foster parents, and an assortment of service providers. This is a sad but necessary alternative to a loving mother and father. It is true and commendable that many mothers and fathers see the light, wake up, and begin to care again for their children, and reestablish loving and protective homes. Unfortunately, damage has often been done to the child, and the work to restore the heart and health of this little one may take years—perhaps a lifetime.
What are we to do? I have many ideas, but this isn’t the article in which to lay them out. We can begin by praying that the Father of us all will intervene and teach us all how to love our children. Will you join me in praying for the children of our community, that one day we won’t need a child welfare system other than the child’s own home?
-Rod Myers
